Infinity And Beyond

Bad choice of reference, I guess.

So… I’ve just seen Infinity War. Safe to say I’m a little shaken. Grammar may be a little screwed up, it’s a bit of a trade-off. And I’m supposed to be up early tomorrow morning, so I suppose I’m having a pre-sleep deprivation hangover-hangover.
And yeah, I can take out time without being particularly guilty. What better can I do with my time, right? (Ask yourself that question, I can seriously promise you you are going to find yourself in that cinema hall. Now I’ll exit this before I descend into just how meaningless all of human exis—
/Much welcome boom interrupts/
/After very properly depositing that last piece of flying debris/

(Yes, not only have I just watched an Avengers movie, but I’ve also been binge-reading the Martian. Sue me.)
Anyway, back to where I was.)

Aaaaaaaaa             (via Twitter)

Man, what can I say? With every awesome Marvel movie returns a question with a vengeance: why, oh why, did I give up animation and design? Imagine making this stuff. Yes, eye-killer, I know, but for a minute, just forget that and imagine you worked on the CGI for this. Or on Doctor Strange (the most beautiful MCU CGI to date, if you ask me). Now give yourself an imaginary medal.
Then shuffle back to your desk, red-faced, and complete your latest code.

This also brings me back to my shamefully high pile of unwatched movies. Summer watching ain’t dead yet, I’m on my way!
I can reason this out.
It’s not like I’ve anything better to do. ( /Recursive argument begins, followed by a crash/ )
Technically, I’ve a legacy of engineers to follow.
Any test that contains an ‘E’ ought to be on my list.
But realistically, am I doing anything more than going crazy weighing pros and cons and hovering over an ‘accept’ button and chickening for another day? (Nukeheads, bloody learn from me.)
So my summer watchlist ought to win! We have a realistic chance! Good triumphs! …in the sequel that comes two years later.
Yep, this isn’t just my watchlist’s story, it’s my life’s. Screw this.

One thing about the movie, though, is it brought a classic law of the cineverse and shoved it in my face: the (super)hero always gets the girl(/guy).
After my parched life in institution, normalising with the outside world can take a while.
Here’s to wondering if an asexual geeky superhero ever got anybody.
Life’s a movie, there’s hope, isn’t there?

For the two hours I’ve spent, I will try not to talk much about the movie. I’m not all that evil.

I did, however, come across a very interesting post on Reddit about this earlier this week, though.

To paraphrase, it said, if you can’t join ‘em, lick ‘em.

To quote, it said, if you can’t get over your rejections, email admission officers Infinity War spoilers.

(To this, an AO very sassily replied, “You may have ruined the movie for us, but we’ve just ruined yours hopes and dreams”.
I’m guessing that post doesn’t come easily.)

I mentioned this to mum and dad as we drove back (yep, no matter how cool you might think I am, we do superhero movies as a family. Whatever.) They went on into a discussion about identity theft (I don’t know, don’t ask me, and it’s not important anyway), and I began kidding around and enthusiastically saying, “oh yeah, I should totally do this!”
After all, I’ve seen the movie, and now I’ve got a weapon much stronger than any of y’all! Beware, buggers! You can’t even give me spoilers!!

Dad broke me off from my fantasies. He said you better not do that, this could be dangerous! What if you meet them later in life/apply again for grad school/karma screws.
I only just imagine the lower the acceptance rate, the worse the inboxes will be screwed and flooded. By my own definition, that would be a ‘karma screws’ situation, but whatever. Not my main concern.

What did completely and wholly capture my attention is just how important this makes an Avengers movie!
Imagine this conversation from five years later:
ME: Hi, I’m [perpetrator]!
PROF/AO (eyes grow wide) (gasps) (whispers): You!
ME: Me?
PROF/AO (louder): You!
ME (no memory of matter, politely): Yes? Can you help me out with–
PROF/AO: It’s you! You’re the one who RUINED Infinity War for me forever! Don’t you know I waited, waited TWO YEARS for this, how could you??
ME: uh… viscosity—?
PROF/AO (smiles evilly): Drag force.
PROF/AO (continues): And now, it is my turn.
ME: Drag force?
PROF: Drag course!
ME: wait…
(Cellos play furiously in background and your ears begin to get uncomfortable. Evil laugh perfectly syncopates as the camera zooms into PROF’s face, then cuts up to a yellow sky, bright clouds reflect the the dying sunlight, as a despairing “Noooooo!” echoes through the skies.)
(Possible sequel in the making? I don’t know, but I’m enthusiastic about returning to the longer post format, it’s been a while!)

(PS: screw all this saving the world with tech biz, I should totally ditch computer science and become a filmmaker. All those in favour say aye!)


Some walls were built
Just to be melted
Some blood spilled
For some extra colour
Some holes faded
To make way for new ones
In the end, you’re jaded
Like you never were
Some lights dimmed
For an added perspective
Polished and trimmed
Unfinished product
Add preservative
Keeps you up till three
Miss your finest moment
You’re half asleep
How far can your mind bend
Promises aren’t to keep
You smell like varnish
Or something worse
And can you furnish
Something concrete
Can you remember
And can you forget
Did your ember
Set off alarms again?
Can you waste today
When you have no tomorrows
Search for hay
In the needlestack?
Are you there
Or has your mind gone blank
Or do you care
To go back to bed
Is just an illusion
Did you know you were lent
Your misery?
Are you there
Or has your mind gone blank
And do you care
To head straight back to bed?
Hit the brew
You’ve got a new best friend
All a sinking ship’s crew
The parrot flew away.

Waitlisted Again…

What’s the most natural thing most (non twelfth-grader) people do on a weekend night?
They go out and stuff themselves silly, without a word of complain, even if what they’re eating turns out worse than their mum whips up. (Wait… do I sound out of touch?)
It so happened this Friday that we fell into the same line of thinking and decided to go out for dinner.
I don’t know if we should have expected it to be crowded, but the sheer numbers amazed me.
We’d won the goddamned lottery.
Turns out, a team of office-goers had booked the restaurant for the night.
Two hundred and fifty of them, to be precise.
We were told that we had a better chance of getting a seat if we came back the next day.
Now this sounds familiar.
Like every hopeful kid who has poured their heart into their essays, we decided to try and wait anyway.
We were told we’d have to wait at least 45 minutes.
Hmmm… 50 seats, 250+ applicants… now what might their acceptance rate be?
Selectivity was high. Hence began the sizing up of fellow applicants, current students and alumni.
Retentivity was obviously high. And people were taking their time, for sure.
Between dad and my sister, twenty minutes were spent on quality commentary on a poor kid who was just taking too long with a dish.
Well, you heard what they said about idle minds.
Me, I was occupied with the match on the big screen. It’s cricket season again! (To be honest, when isn’t it?)
But heck, I’m observant.
There was another couple who had an issue with their bill. As dad watched them finally sign their scrap of paper with a flourish, I could see him almost tasting victory.
Forty minutes.
Anyway, this was one place I finally did get off the waitlist.
They were surprisingly efficient even with two hundred and sixty odd people (I mean odd in every way… I’m dreading office life already. Who knew the most diplomatic folks were the ones who let loose so completely?)
The food was good too, so the forty five minutes were worth the wait.
Makes me wonder if I should give dinners out another chance. Maybe it’s really not that hard to stop being lazy and allow your arse to get kicked out of the house every once in a while?
Goodness, us twelfth graders must be really lazy.
At any rate, if such situations happen to repeat themselves, I’m gonna land me a college alright!


The stars begin to fade
To their billionth blissful oblivion
Rising from the ashes of the blade
Dust flies up over the horizon

Showdown begins at sunrise
You’re snatched out of a broken dream
The ceasefire of the night dies
Shattered by an early scream

Two sides of the same coin
Hide the other with a mask
Another chance to drown the disappointment
No, you nor her were up to task

And home’s a long way to bide
Uncertainty comforts your stay
The grass may be greener on the other side
But I’d rather lose myself in the hay

The bright lights everlasting
Don’t you know she never sleeps
Please smile while you choke on plastic
Heart heavy every night she weeps

She’d like to say she tries
Blend a palette with many hues
Heed joy and despair in her cries
And the rasp of overuse

She’s seen the rise and she’s seen the fall
She sees the minds walk on thin ice
Knowledge is heavy and she knows it all
Always broke, but she pays the price

Taken for a ride
A million dreams away
The grass may be greener on the other side
But I’d rather lose myself in hay

While the dream keeps her alive
Memory washed on a sunny bay
The grass may be greener on the other side
She will live to see another day.

Survey #39


*stretches out of disuse*

A rare moment of freedom and inspiration has allowed me to put out this much-procrastinated survey… it may be from September, for all I know!


Q: What are your plans for surviving apocalypse?

Shania: Die? Or dress Zombae’s hair. I’ll be a Zombae hairdresser: Zombae Hair Salon. Please visit!

Pranav: Probably bingewatch my 50 anime gigs and Narcos before that happens. But if I get the chance to run away like in ‘2012’, then of course, why not?

Aayush: I’ll follow Nidhi ma’am.

Anand: I shall die with music in my ears, anime in my heart and a basketball in my hands. A glorious, beautiful death.

Siddharth: Assuming that the apocalypse is the shutting down of the Internet, I’d survivse on pre-downloaded TV-shows till I run out and then live life lkike people did in the 1800s and 1900s: bare essentials.

Aayush: Just chill.

Sakshi: Stay hiddden in one of the deserted cars, because nobody pays attention to them.

Neha: If it’s a zombie apocalypse, I will camp out in a huge grocery store and stay away from bikers or people trying to find their families because 99% of the time, they’re crazier than the zombies.
If it’s a robot apocalypse, then I’d be quite happy to let them inherit the earth. They’d probably do a brilliant job.

Vyshnavi: I’m useless, so I’d die!

Eesha: I 1. am very tiny
2. care for no one
So I can hide in the weirdest of places and also will slaughter a person if needed. And I will do anything for a burger.

Shubhankar: I don’t wanna survive.

Marc: I can’t share that, or you’ll survive.    [Yeah, thank you.]

Netra: Time travel again and again until I actually die.

Nishidh: Die!

Shrinjay: You don’t survive an apocalypse.

Eeshan: Take a neverending nap.

Yusuf: I will be under the protection of “Sunita Ramesh”.   [inside joke]

Ritankar: Let’s all die together!

Kaustubh:  Get high on all kinds of drugs nd play my Xbox till I die.

Anushka: Die happily because I’ll have no reason to live.

Daivya: Just die.

Maulishri: Die!

Richa: Die.

Eva: Go with the flow, and by that I mean, you guessed it, die.

Ashay: Go to pharen country.

Jai: Go to pharen country with Ashay.

Parthiv: Go to pharen country with Jai.

Harshit: Die with a glass of wine.

Archit: Go crazy all around.

Adhvait: Watch theb world tear apart

Ronan: Behave like a caveman 🙂

Aditya: Hide in a seed vault with a truck of soil.

Shamila ma’am: Go to pharen country with Ashay, Jai and Parthiv, if they don’t mind!

Manish sir: I’d die.

Satchit: I am Cactus-Man. Nothing can hinder my survival.

Saahil: My version of the apocalypse is the one from Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs, so I’d survive it by eating all the food. I must save the world!
[Anushree: Yes, please. Especially for us vegetarians.]

Aakansha: Use my T.A.R.D.I.S. to go to another era.

Vedika: I don’t plan  to survive.

Kritika: I’d die.

Sanyukta: Just dieee!

Manasi: Apocalypse is: Sanyukta’s screching, Aditi being a rat, Aninthitha [… this response was interrupted by actual apocalypse: the reak probably ended.]

Manya: Volcanic apocalypse: novels, and enjoying it. Thank goodness it finally happened.

Manvika: Who said I wanted to survive?

Aaliya: I will cause the zombie apocalypse, run around and eat people’s brains!

Aninthitha: If there’s a robot/AI battle for domination, I’ll turn. I hate people.

Rishabh: I’d just like to chill.

Arjun: I’ll hide under a table with enough water and food.

Shivani: Don’t wanna survive!

Jahnavi: I’d travel to another universe.

Vidhi: Stock up on pizza and coke in a cool place below the surface of the earth.

Anisha: Take all my books and hide in a cave/island/bunker.

Arshya: Hide somewhere.

Anandita: Huh? Plan? Whaat?

Aelin (pseudonym): Apocalypse: there’s no music and books in the  world anymore.
How I’ll survive:  Learn how to sing and manufactjure instruments, especially guitars and pianos.

Pragya: Apocalypse: No colours, everything is plain, black and white.
How I’ll survive: I’ll learn to paint and manufacture brushes, paints, everything related to art.

Manasi (again):  lmao I’d die first (unfit af).

Aryaa: Survival of the fittest! I will fight to death.  [this response hs been awarded seven stars and an “A++++++” by a fellow  surveyee]

Anushree: I’ll accompany Akicchi because she’ll know how to operate T.A.R.D.I.S. (I’m not a Whovian).

Aditi: I am ready for apocalypse. I have a secret candy stash (not telling where it is), I can survive in a bunker without meeting humans for days, and I’m not a very virtuous person either.
What more do you need?

Gauri: Build a bunker, fill it with an assortment of food, but mostly chocolate and cheese, stay there and watch movies for the remainder of my life.

Tanishi: I don’t wnna live! I’d die– happily!

Yatin: Promise me a pizza nd a smoothie, and maybe I’ll change sides.

Raghav: All the meth!

Ayushi:  I wouldn’t want to survive it. I’d prefer to die.

Jatin: Food suply, ammo and a shotgun.

Radhika: Lay down on the road and act like I’m dead.

Mahwash:  I would hoard pizzas and hang out with Arnab Goswami (to break the ice).

Anshul: Die before it even hits. Simple.

Deepan: Already going through one. It’s called twelfth grade.

Satvik: Lock myself up and meditate, then probaby get the zombies to self-actualization  and become their spiritual leader (not to be confused with MSG).

Punyam: No die.


Know what, the final verdict is out. We’re not going to make it. But I hope I make it, to the next survey! I’ve still tons of that crazy stuff to put out. Hold on tight.


If you stand before a concave mirror
And if you snuggle up close enough
The image that you see
Won’t reflect what’s really there
If you stand tall
Your twin stands taller
If you smile wide
Your twin smiles wider
And obviously has a bigger heard
Welcome to her warped world
Where you stand magnified
Virtual images are illusions
Take a step back and see:
Your world’s really upside down.