Asymptotic Allegories

There’s a white waterfall over me
Not a conspiracy theorist, but I think it’s whitewashing me
Found a spot dead in the middle of the floor
I’ve just begun and I can’t take it anymore
There’s a sign with ten red cautions on the door
Push me open, they silently implore

Grey lines race across grey carpets on the floor
Oddly calming anathema to what’s in store
For me, why can’t I see, it’s looming over me
Was I just never tested for ADHD

Unemployed sociologist undercover
See a girl run up and pounce on her lover
He makes no move, his face is a cloud
Just as I sit here, weaving my own shroud

What you need lies not beyond but on your table
Under your nose, it’s a challenge, are you able
When everyone’s calculated but I can’t do a thing
Writing trashy poetry won’t save my math from a failing grade

 

I’m sitting with my math book in the library. It’s past midday. My midterm’s tomorrow. What am I doing with my life.

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It Is Time!

If I have anything to say for myself with regards to my prolonged and mysteriously silent absence, all I can say is that I was frozen in time. I’m not even kidding. If midterms weren’t time consuming enough, check this out: 

This is the definition of perfection (ignoring the fact that my hands have frozen just like the rest of me).

I can’t complain about the cold when going outside is this rewarding! 

In other stories, Merry Christmas already. If I can get myself out of bed by then, I’ll be amazed with myself. I went to bed at 4:45 AM last night questioning why I even bother trying to sleep. 

But then again, it wasn’t too bad a day either.

Please ignore the mess. My roommate’s getting better at doing that. 

I can’t wait for December. I can’t wait for finals to end. 

And while your mercurial and unpunctual writer waits…

Scratch that, I’m just waiting for a decent hour tonight so I can go to bed. On Maslow’s pyramid, I’ve dropped to the underground levels where the Pharos were buried. 

Which basically should translate to only so much: I’m underground 😉

Until the next time I surface for breath!

Medley

God bless Thesaurus. Or whoever you may believe in.

They deserve it, and as someone who is up at 12 in the morning trying to finish a 1500 word essay and is slowly running out of collective nouns to express what I feel about a group of people I’m tired of calling a choir, I hereby give my wholesome and heartfelt thanks to Thesaurus. 

Dearest Thesaurus,

Thanks for the miscellany of words. When the assortment of phrases in my head has begun to wear thin, you sure brought me bags and bags of relief. You’ve got to believe that, among the conglomeration of emotions I am currently experiencing, gratefulness is definitely one.

Collectively yours,(???)

Matt.

In the process, I feel like I’ve really got to brush up on the words I can use to give thanks. If I don’t break my habit of beginning essays really late, I’ll be using those words a lot more often than I’ll be using, “Whew, that’s gone through in time!”

Seriously though, Thesaurus probably is the best. You’ll just realise that one night, at 11:58 PM.

Remember me on that day. 

Freeze Frame

Fall’s reign is over. 

It’s a wonder of sorts that I am remotely able to say this, given the state of my fingers. If you’ve ever felt like the cold is so bad you’re afraid your nose or even your fingers might fall off, be thankful it was mostly only rhetoric in your case.

Check out this poor guy.

That’s the very same tree I’ve been plaguing like a paparazzi would a slippery star, all month long, and it’s finally lost all its leaves to winter’s incoming onslaught.

I suppose that means I can’t take any more pictures of it (and you poor folks are finally rid of my tree photography).

I’ve also got to admit this post is a bit of a test. I’ve been wielding my phone camera like a hungry kid would a spoon at dinnertime… assuming they weren’t eating bread. Fortunately for me, there’s tons of stuff out here and my camera’s looking sharp (quite literally, you see) and my memory isn’t. 

(On that note I should probably mention I have a midterm tomorrow.)

I’ve got more pictures on me than space, I fear, both on my phone and on WordPress. 

And before you sigh in relief, I’ll let you know I’ve been solution-seeking. 

Tumblr!

It’s super easy to upload photographs there and simply embed them into WordPress instead. So you’ll probably never be rid of me. Never ever! 

(evil cackles are heard in the foreground as ghostly laments moan in the background, almost seemingly as if they were screaming out “Nooooooooo” in agony. A few terrified birds shoot out of their nests with alarmed cries and take refuge in the skies as the sun dips down and begins to hand over its reigns to the night. In the silvery, gloomy twilight, the dying day seems to reflect the reader’s despair as they hunt, fruitlessly for that ‘Unsubscribe’ button…)

I’m honestly not that bad though, you know. 

One For The Vin

So I have wine in my room. 

It came as a bit of a surprise to me too, honestly, because I didn’t even know of this. I just walked in, late at night, and behold: le vin! 

I don’t know if this is legal, to be honest. 

Residence rules state you can’t bring in any bottles of alcohol with you. 

Let’s harp on the technicalities of this statement for a minute. 

Glass bottles are not allowed (cans are, by the way).

I have a plastic coffee mug. 

You can’t bring in any with you.

Well, here’s the thing: I didn’t bring any in with me. 

Or at least, it wasn’t wine when I brought it in. 

When I brought it in with me, it was a harmless little plastic coffee cup of light peach juice. 

Three weeks ago. 

Now it’s an aged, vintage, peach flavoured summer wine. 

God, my roommate hates me. 

But if you don’t, and have had a bad midterm season and need something quick and easy, just give me a call and drop by!

PS: this can’t be against the rules, I didn’t bring in alcohol, I just have a very green thumb and an amazing memory. I make classics without trying. 

Speed Trials

You have no idea…

How good it feels…

To come back home,

Having submitted an assignment…

And only having one more left…

To submit fifteen hours later.

I’m so looking forward to reading week!

 

(Published via a phone nearly dead from uploading assignment scans at 12:20 AM as your blogger hauls ass back home nearly out of breath from a submission made at 23:59:58 (probably) for a submission due before midnight.)

Canuck Reflections

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Right, so I tried following the design principles and completely missed it this time: the edge of the knife could end up pulling your attention out of the picture. Don’t go away yet!

This is what happens when I’m not paying attention at 10 in the morning.

I was sitting for breakfast with my eye on the clock and my mind in my psychology class, for which I was only minutes away from being late.

Nothing new, nothing to panic about, really. I should be used to this by now.

But by this time, the syrup had spread all over my plate and had become a golden mirror.

Looking down at it though, something struck me: just look at this picture.

Pancakes, maple syrup, and a reflection of a maple tree from outside the window, all in a single frame. Does it get more Canadian than this?

(‘No hockey sticks nearby’ would be a good point to make, in all fairness.)

So I decided to strain the limits of my gallery’s storage and am plaguing your reader feeds again.

Have a nice day!