Being a devil in hell must be fun. Standing over a poor soul that did nothing more that stealing a bubblegum worth 1/100000th of his pocket money and monitor his screams as you have him sit in a boiling pot of something that’s definitely not coffee, (while you sip one, with popcorn in your other hand) and, well, basically torture them, that, and not sitting on your butt for nine hours in an office chair that doesn’t swivel, being your primary job, must be fun.
So this week, I asked my surveyed to bring out the devil in them, and prepare a CV for their posts afterlife, and see just what torture means to them.
Q: What is torture, according to you?
(Also might I mention this survey has a sponsor: our one and only 卍.)
Vedika: Torture is spoilers.
Aakansha: Anticlimax and fictional character deaths.
Priyansh: Anything and everything.
Deepan: Having a guitar with the higher E-string broken.
Sakshi: Wrong pronunciations of words, pulling a door that needs to be pushed, and waiting for Game of Thrones season 7.
Nirmitii: Mathematics and punctuality. (I’m forever late) Also, speedy people are useless weight on the earth.
Anshul: Just four letters. C**** B**** Stupidity in Excess.
Saif: Sitting in front of food during Iftaar.
Anjali: Torture is when your favourite show ends, and you have to wait for a new season, for one year.
Rishbha: Physics + Chemistry.
Diya: When someone pulls my hair because they think it’s a wig… Like, what?
Manya: Torture is not being able to meet Ranbir Kapoor and Virat Kohli, or not being able to read books.
Tanishi: Torture is being in a lift with lizards.
Pranav: Going to coaching classes. (A side note from a surveyee here: Then don’t. Listen to your heart.)
Sudhanshu: Preparing for IIT!
Satchit: Hyperconjugation effect!
Aayush: Torture is suppression of scientific temperament.
A.M. : Torture is studying, spending time on unimportant things and watching Indian soaps.
Mohak: Torture is sitting beside Priyansh. (Priyansh: I agree.)
Mahima: CHEMISTRY (“make that bold, italics, caps!”)
Aayushi: Torture is talking about food.
Ashay: Sitting next to Aayushi.
Krishnan: Sitting beside Sudhanshu and studying for IIT.
Harshuday: Torture is waiting for Walking Dead season 3, and Chemistry!
Lakshit: Anshul’s terrible puns. (Anshul: my puns are still better than you are,)
Shivam: Torture is living in a place where you don’t want to live and doing something you are not passionate about.
Nethra: Morning assemblies in my previous school, and talking (or even looking!) at Vennie.
Shefali: Torture is getting up early.
Charul: Reading novels, and that’s why I don’t.
Radhika: Waking up early.
Ayushi: Torture is when we are short of time and there is a lot to study.
Aditi: Books that are extremely extremely slow and boring.
Rashiv: Torture is a four-year wait for Sherlock. (There are more number of seasons in Nature.)
Shrinjay: Trying to pretend that I understand physics.
Jatin: Torture is being in a room with high speed internet and 2% phone battery, and your crush texts you.
Aakansha ma’am: Torture is being subjected to anything I don’t want to, beyond my tolerance level.
Ajinkya: Torture is if I don’t get to play MiniMilitia for more than two days.
Aninthitha: Two hours of chemistry. Actually, screw that, even two minutes is enough to drive me insane.
Kaanan: Torture is seeing people not appreciate chocolate.
Manvika: I’ll tell you what is torture: not having a magic wand!
Anisha: Causing someone pain over and over again.
Anandita: Giving physical pain continuously, like maybe slowly squeezing a heart to let every last drop of blood out and kill.
Keerti: Not getting enough sleep and not being able to sing and dance well and not living in camp Half Blood.
Lamha: Torture, to me, is people being sad, denied their rights, not being accepted by people, not being what they want to be. That’s true torture to me.
Shreya: Interfering and troubling emotionally.
Gauri: Not knowing what your passion is.
Khushi: Being able to think is torturous; thinking is torture. Overthinking and overrationalising both result from the ability to think, so that is torturous.
Vani: Watching someone (including animals) die, or simply verbal abuse.
Arjun: French lectures, not having a joke to crack when you need it, when you want to laugh a lot but the situation doesn’t allow it, being ignored and having to explain your joke. And when Aayush tries to be funny and crack a joke.
Sanjana: Torture is my current situation. Not being able to hang out with my friends since I moved cities.
Mahwash: Torture is my ‘bestie’. (No, you do not want to know.)
If you ever step into my shoes, I’ll let you know in advance, waiting for survey answers that “will be relayed to me by the end of the day”, but never are, is true torture. Sore fingers after typing too.
Okay, torture is also not having the money to hire a writer to do the clerk work for you!