I’m Done

I’m so ready for today to end.

I’ve yelled at a toilet seat and have two midterms tomorrow.

As Green Day sang on Brain Stew,

My eyes feel like they’re gonna bleed

The clock is laughing in my face

My mouth is dry

My face feels numb

And goodnight.

Sentient

So I’ve been on autopilot for a while. All my brain can do right now, is fix values for numeric symbols. I probably don’t know my name anymore. Oh, and I’m unrealistically pumped up for my computer science proofs test tomorrow.

So now you probably think I’m ill.

It’s all the autopilot, and I blame everything on this buggy piece of sentient AI I’ve become over the week. Everything’s sort of been an if-then clause with me. It was five degrees yesterday—POSITIVE FIVE I KID YOU NOT!—and with all the snow melting around me, my natural reaction was to go out without a jacket. Most of you who’ve experienced winters before will tell you not to rely on the evening’s weather to be like the morning’s—that is deception at its finest!

But I did, and also being the metallic AI-in-a-machine that I am, I didn’t even realise it was cold as the sun went down.

My friend asked me how I was doing today, and I replied, I don’t know.

I don’t know? What does that mean? They asked.

I don’t know.

I came across a packet of nuts today that read the following description: Premium Salty Mix.

Running my beta autopilot software, I thought, just like me.

It took me about five minutes to realise that no kidding, I was right.

I’m a Premium Salty Mix (not to mention a messy one) right now.

And that is basically all I came here to write. I’m sorry if all you learnt today was this pointless fact.

And I’m switching back to autopilot mode. I’ll be back after my midterms, probably sentient.

Put me through the Turing test already! (Spoiler, I’ll probably fail on account of randomness.)

And that is all.

Laundry Bag

I’m currently my laundry bag:
I’ve been lying around all week
For you to trip over me;
I’ve been sitting around
Waiting for someone,
Oh someone please take me out
Of here.

I’ve been filling, and filling
My head up with trash,
And all your dirty laundry
And all your dirty thoughts
And all your old secrets
Lying in my pit that you forgot

And I’m in the one you want
To hide when your friends are around
Just a silent slide, underfoot
And then you think I’m gone

But I’m not;
Constant presence in your life
Constantly in your lies
My sloth like appearance belied
By nothing in particular

And if you’re so inclined
And if you have the time,
Can you please spare a minute
And straighten out my tangles?

Midterms

Midterms next week
And answers I seek
And find a reprieve in sleep

But don’t be negative, you say
Stuff will find its way
And I could just point to the streets

Positive temperatures due this week
Pending like that assignment deadline
I’m trying to keep

And all three feet
Of snow from over this week
Is going to water away to waste

Is this what procrastination looks like?
Muddy slush bursting your pipe
Scrunched under foot;
Slip and slide
And fall on your butt on the ice.

Asymptotic Allegories

There’s a white waterfall over me
Not a conspiracy theorist, but I think it’s whitewashing me
Found a spot dead in the middle of the floor
I’ve just begun and I can’t take it anymore
There’s a sign with ten red cautions on the door
Push me open, they silently implore

Grey lines race across grey carpets on the floor
Oddly calming anathema to what’s in store
For me, why can’t I see, it’s looming over me
Was I just never tested for ADHD

Unemployed sociologist undercover
See a girl run up and pounce on her lover
He makes no move, his face is a cloud
Just as I sit here, weaving my own shroud

What you need lies not beyond but on your table
Under your nose, it’s a challenge, are you able
When everyone’s calculated but I can’t do a thing
Writing trashy poetry won’t save my math from a failing grade

 

I’m sitting with my math book in the library. It’s past midday. My midterm’s tomorrow. What am I doing with my life.

Special Relativity

There’s no better time to do your laundry than the evening before a math midterm.

 

Also, here’s today’s tree update:

BF8CC2F0-77D2-437C-A784-0607884FCF3A.jpeg

Boy, look how deep it reddens every time I look at it.