Adventures of A Real-World Adult™

So I begin today.

Your wildchild is entering the real world. Setting out on a new journey, equipped only with a bad sense of direction and a faulty Google Maps.

I’m off to work.

Really, it’s only an internship and so under the adamantium shield of Intern I get to make every mistake in the book, and get away with it, but it doesn’t make things less real, and I say that because I’m sitting in office.

Before you ask why I’m sitting in office, on day one, and typing up a blogpost, I’ll specify I’m sitting in the reception. The wait begins.
You know, it’s diplomatic strategy. You make someone wait, and then they seem more important. Well, I’m handling that game really well: it’s blogpost time!
You’re probably just glad I am not drawing a comic in here.

So far, my journey’s been great. I misread my watch this morning. In the dim morning light, my watch seemed to read 6:55. I said great, I’m up before my alarm.
You know that sweet, sweet feeling when you get up on your own, and see that there’s some time left before you’re scheduled to drop out of bed? Yeah, it’s even better than waking up on time, because you feel like you’ve snatched away those five extra minutes of sleep, never mind the fact that had you not woken up then, you’d have scored them anyway. Heck, by setting your alarm to 7:05, you’d earned them the night before!
Well, guess who thought they’d earned 20 extra minutes.

I don’t know about you, but once I’m awake, the anxiety that my alarm will shoot off, “any minute now”, is very real. It’s awful, and it doesn’t let me sleep again. It’s nearly pointless, I don’t get those ten minutes back!

So I lie there, waiting for the drill sergeant to scream. I used to have a siren as an alarm once, it was proven to be the most effective, yet it gives me absolute shoots in blood pressure, the cold sweat, the entire package.
At least I know I’m bodily ready when a real emergency hits!

So I lie to acting for what seems like forever, and nothing rings, there’s no sound.
My first thought is, shoot, the alarm isn’t working!
My second thought, shoot, I missed my alarm?
My third, and finally, action driven thought, let me check the time.

It’s 25. Shoot, I was scheduled for 7:15!
… but wait, what’s that? 6?
It’s 6:15?!

And then I lay waiting for 7:15. Turns out, I’d misread 5:50 for 6:55. That’s an hour and 20 minutes of my sleep I’ll never get back.
But I’ve mostly been on schedule since.
Then I got pranked by Google Maps this morning. As I stood at the bustop, I was texting a friend, and two seconds later, Maps shows me, with an A-OK in green text colour, that my bus was on time and had departed three minutes ago.

Okay, I was talking it was semi-important, but did I just let my bus pass me by? I was trying my damndest to be early too.

How early, you ask? Well, I live about ten minutes from work, and I begin at 9 AM.
I left home at 8:18.

But something tells me, my not so asleep senses aren’t wrong today, no bus did come!
I stood there panicking, almost considering walking the whole way, and I’d have done it too, but my footwear stopped me. I’d have looked quite a sight, stomping and struggling my way to work in a shirt and 0.05 mm heels. I’m really bad at this.

So I waited, and a bus did come. But before it did, with me at the stop, Maps tells me, “you are scheduled to arrive in one minute.”

Yeah right, smart mouth.

The bus I did get on came smack in between the two scheduled timings. So now I don’t know if I was late on my bus, or early on the next.

And now I’m sitting and waiting, for formalities, casualties (me), and forms—oh god, forms!—must be filled.

And as I sit here and wait, I can hear a high-end meeting beginning in the room next to me.
They’re discussing Pokémon.

Too Many Symbols In One Picture

Right here, in a single frame, are two iconic landmarks, both representative of the same place I’ve come to grow used to, but my word, both such contrasting figures.

Set against a foreground of what’s miraculously more ground than snow and ice, is the stone memorial Soldier’s Tower, a landmark erected in honour of soldiers who died in the two World Wars, with the CN Tower in the backdrop.

And behind the camera is an ancient relic, so old, withered and tired and falling to pieces, that the two towers might feel like budding roses next to it: me, walking home at 8.

I am so ready to get my assignment done with. I’m so ready for reading week.

I’m so ready fo—

(This post could not be completed as the author dozed off mid-post.)

Sleepslave: Like A Sponge

People always say, go explore, but remember your roots, carry your culture.

Don’t lose your values.

I think I don’t want to lose my ‘u’s– there’s a British English stickler for you!

Another thing I don’t want to lose, whose loss I am currently lamenting, is my sleep… Unfortunately, whenever I try to binge-sleep, something comes up.

There was a day I decided I could afford to sleep in. No alarms, no internal reminders (which, trust me, work like a charm. If it’s in the back of your head that you’d need to get up at six the next morning, your body will inevitably wake you up at a time alarmingly close to what you’d wanted… If you go back to sleep though, it absolves all responsibility!
This has worked for me for a 3 AM shift too, so I can vouch for it! Except perhaps when I’m dead tired.)

But that particular morning, I decided I’d sleep till 10, at least.

8:30 AM

There’s a knock on my door. (It actually works to wake me up, so mum’s never had to drag me out of bed. My sister’s another story, though.)

I ignore it, after all, I’m sleeping in, remember?

It is mum. She comes over and shakes my shoulder. I’m already on my way back to sleep by now.

“Listen up,”

Listening, but I’ll process later. Mmm, good night, sweet dreams, please don’t draw the curtains.

I magically go into vampire-mode at night. I’ll grunt at a single LED if  you keep it before me in the dark! Yes, I’ve bumped around many times. I’ll learn, I guess.
I’ll learn to navigate in the dark better.

“Your school phoned asking about you.”

Mmm.

Mm― wait, what?
I processed that too quickly for my own good health.

School phoned? Why?

Why did you have to tell me this when I’m trying to stay asleep??

“I just thought you should know before I forget. Anyway, I’m leaving, you can sleep if you want.”

If black, sleepy eyes can look evil, they sure as hell are in this instant.

‘I can’ isn’t a choice anymore. ‘Can I?’ is the question.

This isn’t the first time this has happened.

I’ve had a very similar morning, with the exact same explanation and proceedings, the only difference being in one part:

“Listen up,”

Mmmm. D’you mind, I don’t like the light.

“You need to complete your math test and submit it today. Just thought I’d remind you, I’m leaving, don’t stay in bed after 11.”

Or, “You’ll need to pick up your report card from school this afternoon.”

(falls on the floor and remains there)

Some people have trouble absorbing calcium into their body. They’d understand what I go through.

Somehow, no matter how long I try to sleep, I just can’t assimilate it into my body!

It’s like the night before an exam, when you’re picking up a new and easy (read: neglected) topic, but the next morning, it’s been wiped. They say kids’ brains are like sponges, absorbing.

I’d agree with the first half: just a small squeeze, and they lose it all, no retention!

What would you like to retain with you if you went globe trotting?

New World

Upto us to add that colour…

Lyrics to Hole’s Violet:

And the sky was made of Amethyst
And all the stars were just like little fish
You should learn when to go
You should learn how to say no

For all it’s worth, this may soon be

And the sky was made of Amethyst
And all the stars were just like little fish
You should learn when to go
You should learn to take a no.

#PostWeinstein