Domestic Woes

There aren’t monsters under beds,
I think I can say that for sure;
There’s one in the bathroom
And it’s a toilet paper-vore:
Yesterday, I changed rolls,
Today, I’m changing roles;
It’s the third one this week
That’s just been devoured whole
So one and all,
Lo and behold:
Your poet’s stepped into
The investigator’s mould—
Is this a stroke of genius
By a next door neighbour bold,
Who has us in the palm of their hand,
And our rolls in their stranglehold?
Have I just lost all my sense
Of normal space and time?
Maybe all those tests are now
Eating this brain of mine
Or is this just a frantic
Effort on life’s part
To get this indoorsey CS kid
To finally trip down to Walmart?
Either way, one and all,
The joke’s growing old;
This is not the college story
I’d like twenty years hence told!

 

For the record, I’m not really indoorsey, I’m just cold. It’s 9 degrees outside and we’re on the lakefront. It has dramatic effects on a nice warm day’s efforts to keep you from freezing. It belittles the sun until it loses all motivation, and if that doesn’t ruin your day, you need to sign up for a CS degree.
And I really did change the toilet rolls yesterday, and they’re over today. Someone is eating toilet paper here, and this is not the sort of thing I imagined would make a Sherlock plot scene. “Mr. Holmes, we’ve been loo-ted!”

Sunday update: four. Four rolls.

Sherlock’s On Holiday

“Such a thing is sleep
It never comes cheap
Always such a price
To cut you off from paradise
Roll of a dice,
A game of chance
Unto the REM stage to advance
Ah, sleep, such a dilemma is thee
The loser’s always me:
I lose sleep or chemistry/history.”

This is actually my sister’s life story. In fact, she’s asleep as I write this, after spending all morning that we were out for my design test, complaining about how we were wasting her time bringing her out with us, time she could’ve slept and then studied.
Oh well.

In other news, today’s been an eventful day. The design test I mentioned wasn’t too bad, I didn’t study for it. (I signed up for it back when I was considering taking up design, but then I had a sudden change of heart and am going for computer science. I still decided to give it, just for fun.)
On the way back, we passed a domino-accident. It was on the highway, there was a row of cars on the opposite side with both bonnets and dickeys smashed in… chain accident. One car must’ve stopped, and before the one behind it could slow down, it rammed into it’s predecessor with some force, and this continued for–guess–six cars.
I’d go with my mum’s theory for this one: when you’re living in the big, clustered cities, you’re definitely not used to speed. Take to the free, open highways,and you just do not know what to do with it. Result? Bam!
There was a ton of traffic as many folks decided to stop and look on, or worse, record the whole thing. It was as clustered as it could get! I don’t know if anybody decided to call in authorities: half a kilometer after the scene, we saw some cops in their van just gazing out, most likely blissfully unaware. They were two drive lanes away, but looking back, we probably shoulda told them… however we could.
It was sad though, because that expressway is very well known for frequent accidents, probably all avoidable. I don’t have pictures, because we decided not to stop—knowing that lane’s notoriety, my first thought was, let’s first get out of here! I’d only just seen a video of a crash in Cali when people on the road were too busy gazing up at the SpaceX launch…

We’ll probably read of it in tomorrow’s news, and in all likelihood, no one will be too surprised.


Just saw something weird. There was a man on a scooter waiting for someone, and this stray dog in our neighbourhood goes crazy. It’s usually a bit over-excited (remember this? Same dog.), but today, its tail was wagging that extra furiously, and it kept barking incessantly, not right at the man, but above and around him; everywhere.
I figured, heh, regular day in the life. It and its accomplice, a dog that seems to have once been a lot more civilised than this one, but has his friend rubbing off on him (assuming it’s a him), usually bark in harmony, a 45-minute symphony. I don’t know if they’re aware of their listening demographic, but just to be safe and modest and not sing before a very large crowd, they often perform at 2. AM.
So I figured, nothing new here.

But as soon as the woman arrived and the two left, the dogs stopped barking. That’s it. Silence. And then they started sniffing around on the ground, just where the scooter was.

I was pretty intrigued now. This was looking exactly like those movies where some fishy, suspicious-looking crook comes in to carry out his task, and a olfactorily-functioning dog would take one sniff and start barking at the goon.
This guy did nothing but sit on his bike and ignore the dogs, but what if. What just if. Where’s Sherlock?

And I have no idea why I’m doing this right now when I have an application to submit. Tonight. 7 hours to go!