For Pup’s Sake

Here’s a little mind chow: why do so many kids want dogs? I know it looks really good through a good quality camera in a sunlit picture with tons of grass behind, but here’s the thing: you probably have never seen a good quality camera in your life and have accepted your iPhone as a permanent substitute, there are no “sunny” days in the winter, and going by the climate reports, there isn’t much of that grassy plain left for you and the pup to roll in.

I’m serious, we’re more city-kid than we’d ever thought we were. For example, I had a little trouble digesting spring allergies, and it’s not because I never had heard of them before. Spring fever, hay fever, pollen allergies, they’re all fundamentally your body attacking spring because it thought it was something dangerous. Putting it this way, your body has no idea that spring’s just this harmless, temporary reprieve from the winter and reacts to it the way you did if you saw a flying dog in supers garb, i.e., undies.
… Just to be really clear, I meant surprise, shock, whatever. Something tells me a lot of first reactions would probably be to whip out a Real Good Quality phone camera and yell, “Awwww!!” as they film.

That’s probably why a lot of kids think a dog is a great idea.

Image result for dog in a superhero costume
credits: the internet and someone who took my previous line too seriously.

I don’t have spring allergies though. I don’t think I’ve had enough regular, periodic exposure to spring, pollen, grassy smells or clean, non-city air enough for my body to recognise it and go, “Here we go again team, those damned seeds are back again! Lock into anti-seed mode; nose! I’m gonna need all the ammunition you can get! Call on Sinus and Lung for backup, hear?”
“Standing by!”
“Eyes, you’ll have to gain system attention, signal that idiot to get out of there on the double and back to safety indoors! No one likes casualties and we can do to avoid an unnecessary fight.”
“Sir, I don’t think that’s how it—”
“Water!!”
“Oh well, if you insist.”
“Pores, get ready! The bigger you appear to your enemy, the greater the intimidation. Swell up those arms and legs, soldiers!”
“Sir, I think you’re cooking up the wrong allerg—”
“PREPARE FOR WAR, FIENDS OF SPRING!!!”

At any rate, why I’m so familiar with them is probably because literally everybody else in my house seems to be a walking weather cursing machine.

I’d only really given that sort of credit to dust allergies before. That seems more up my run down city alley. *Cough, cough*
*Sneeze!!*

Image result for our battle will be legendary meme
Turns out it’s a very real thing. There exists this exact piece of unedited memery I found on Google.

 

So the dogs. God help you if you’re also allergic to them or their hair. That perfect photograph with the spring and the dog and the dust gathering on it must really be the perfect nightmare for you. Why kids want dogs, I cannot fathom. Dogs are too much like people. My cousins’ puppy runs away from new people in an explicit fashion that my own social anxiety finds admirable. Because if there’s one thing worse than having to talk to people, it’s both parties being awkward, and then you going the extra length to make it seem like you’re not awkward, only for you to realise afterwards that your trying too hard probably made your awkwardness more obvious and then you worry to death that the next time you catch a glimpse of them you’re going to remember the incident and will need to find a place to hide, but in truth, (in my case, at least) you don’t even remember who they are the next time, but they, my friend, remember everything. So much for your personal Annexe.

The other thing with dogs being so similar to humans, is that you, the kid, need to manage them. It’s like going through puberty while you’re still going through puberty. It’s like volunteering to go through puberty for someone else. Maybe if this ever became official a theory, schools and convicts would start counting dog-keeping towards their hours of community service.

That’ll be the day.

In the meanwhile, if you want a pup, try some PUP. I’m really just throwing in this link because I’m happy to not be looking at NYC or Seattle in videos for a change. And because it’s nice to see Toronto again.

Sherlock’s On Holiday

“Such a thing is sleep
It never comes cheap
Always such a price
To cut you off from paradise
Roll of a dice,
A game of chance
Unto the REM stage to advance
Ah, sleep, such a dilemma is thee
The loser’s always me:
I lose sleep or chemistry/history.”

This is actually my sister’s life story. In fact, she’s asleep as I write this, after spending all morning that we were out for my design test, complaining about how we were wasting her time bringing her out with us, time she could’ve slept and then studied.
Oh well.

In other news, today’s been an eventful day. The design test I mentioned wasn’t too bad, I didn’t study for it. (I signed up for it back when I was considering taking up design, but then I had a sudden change of heart and am going for computer science. I still decided to give it, just for fun.)
On the way back, we passed a domino-accident. It was on the highway, there was a row of cars on the opposite side with both bonnets and dickeys smashed in… chain accident. One car must’ve stopped, and before the one behind it could slow down, it rammed into it’s predecessor with some force, and this continued for–guess–six cars.
I’d go with my mum’s theory for this one: when you’re living in the big, clustered cities, you’re definitely not used to speed. Take to the free, open highways,and you just do not know what to do with it. Result? Bam!
There was a ton of traffic as many folks decided to stop and look on, or worse, record the whole thing. It was as clustered as it could get! I don’t know if anybody decided to call in authorities: half a kilometer after the scene, we saw some cops in their van just gazing out, most likely blissfully unaware. They were two drive lanes away, but looking back, we probably shoulda told them… however we could.
It was sad though, because that expressway is very well known for frequent accidents, probably all avoidable. I don’t have pictures, because we decided not to stop—knowing that lane’s notoriety, my first thought was, let’s first get out of here! I’d only just seen a video of a crash in Cali when people on the road were too busy gazing up at the SpaceX launch…

We’ll probably read of it in tomorrow’s news, and in all likelihood, no one will be too surprised.


Just saw something weird. There was a man on a scooter waiting for someone, and this stray dog in our neighbourhood goes crazy. It’s usually a bit over-excited (remember this? Same dog.), but today, its tail was wagging that extra furiously, and it kept barking incessantly, not right at the man, but above and around him; everywhere.
I figured, heh, regular day in the life. It and its accomplice, a dog that seems to have once been a lot more civilised than this one, but has his friend rubbing off on him (assuming it’s a him), usually bark in harmony, a 45-minute symphony. I don’t know if they’re aware of their listening demographic, but just to be safe and modest and not sing before a very large crowd, they often perform at 2. AM.
So I figured, nothing new here.

But as soon as the woman arrived and the two left, the dogs stopped barking. That’s it. Silence. And then they started sniffing around on the ground, just where the scooter was.

I was pretty intrigued now. This was looking exactly like those movies where some fishy, suspicious-looking crook comes in to carry out his task, and a olfactorily-functioning dog would take one sniff and start barking at the goon.
This guy did nothing but sit on his bike and ignore the dogs, but what if. What just if. Where’s Sherlock?

And I have no idea why I’m doing this right now when I have an application to submit. Tonight. 7 hours to go!

 

Unmasked

Today, I know the fear, the terror that every daring, adventurous, life-risking, masked superhero feels: the fear and dread of a close loved one coming to know their true identity.
They don’t want their folks worrying about them, fearing, every minute they’re out, for their lives or worse, banning them from ever picking up their colourful costumes and putting on their capes again.

I just had that dreaded feeling today.
I was late, and running down the road.
(The says that I ain’t late are the exceptional ones.)
Seven in the morning, and it’s dead quiet, the only sound being my running feet.

And then (shudders), these dogs, three stray dogs hear me running and begin wondering what’s up. These are gods I see everyday, in only thinking of how late I must be, and I accelerate.

But these dogs’ attention I’ve really captured by now, and they’re fucking excited.
Madness.
They begin barking all at once and start running towards me.
Oh, shit.
I can’t outrun three dogs!!
What’s worse, they’re in my path, ahead of me!
Oh shit, oh shit!
And I’m thinking.
Dogs can sense fear, I’m thinking.
It’s all I can think, and my eyes are wide, I’m paler than a clean new white sheet now.

The dogs are literally at my leg now, a step’s separation, and there’s a car behind me. I’m trapped, I’m done for, I’m thinking.
I can suddenly hear everything around me clearer than ever before. Every sense is awake, but I have no place to run!

At a super-climax moment like this, with those damned dogs going around me curiously and howling together, all I can manage to do is yell once, Whoa!
Damn, have Hollywood movies got horror reactions wrong.
(I think a scream would’ve aggrieved my situation, no less.)

And then, a person washing his car nearby began shouting out at the dogs, and in five shouts, I think he’d managed to scatter them.
I don’t know, actually.

I think I should’ve stayed and thanked him for, I don’t know, saving me from a potential wince and ouch?

Hearing his shouts and seeing the dogs momentarily distracted, my knees recovered. I just saw my chance, and ran.
(Soft footed, as walk-like as I could, this time.
At the end of our whole fiasco, I was a further ten minutes late.)

Coincidentally, before leaving, my mum had said, “Walk, don’t run, even if you’re fifteen minutes late, watch the road before you cross it.”
Boy, she had no idea, I thought to myself.
And I won’t ever let her; I trembled at my own stupidity. How could I have forgotten? Dog psychology! You run, they run. Despite the fact that I had done this before.

When I returned home, my mum was at the door.
I had conveniently forgotten the whole ordeal.

“I stood in the balcony and saw those dogs come at you. I yelled out, I think the man heard me and began shouting.”

Spider-Man’s fears were never more real.

I still feel awfully guilty about it.

I also realise that it’s really one thing to experience it, and a whole different level of things to watch it happen to someone you care about.
And that’s why I feel so terrible, so guilty…