Just Don’t Make Me Take The Gloves Off


It’s a fine and sunny morning
As you peer outside your window
Just a scraper of a white blanket
Possibly here from a day ago

The clouds are smiling
And the sheer blank white outside is inviting
And as you dream of the summery days ahead
You hear your phone crying

As you walk across to class
It’s as soft a walk as can be
And then you hear the rumbling and howling
And check your phone; it’s minus eighteen degrees

How can it be
That when you really want to get there
On time the wind seems keen on making sure you
End up on the other side of campus?

And how could it seem
So perfectly calm in the morning
When Environment Canada has issued
A week’s worth of warnings?

I think there’s snow inside my hat
And snow in my eyes
And snow in my ear
And in a little bit of a ice

And no, don’t you dare,
Don’t you even try
To cancel classes today
Would make you a very un-Canadian guy.

Have you ever wanted
To go parasailing?
To find out what it really meant
To float like a butterfly?

Because the wind speed today is 50 kph
And the speed limit is 45
Can someone call the damn cops
To ticket this Zephyr guy?

Till today I’d always thought
I’d see the Clippers in the NBA,
But I’ve seen this Albertan roll in
From the Wild West today.

And as I stand and write this,
We’re fifteen centimetres under the snow
And if you prefer imperial units
Today you and I might agree on how low this’ll go (-40!)

And RIP all those with evening classes,
And the off campus dwellers too
Give the wind a fight;
And my frozen fingers
Are my new excuse not to write.

This used to be a staircase. I’m not that creative, it really was one.


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