When I was a kid, there was an advert on the telly about sugar biscuits “so soft, they’d melt in your mouth.”
Now, I may not have been the science kid I happen to be today, but back then, such a radical change, of food in the solid state to the liquid state, food that was not ice, (which I loved to melt in my hands back then) seemed quite incredible.
I bought a packet, insisting to my mum that there was definitely something special about them biscuits.
Then I proceeded to shove one biscuit into my mouth and wait for it to melt.
Then I waited some more.
I thought of the woman (woman?) in the ad who proclaimed that it melted and closed her eyes from the sugar rush.
Five year-olds don’t have that much patience.
Where is my liquid biscuit??
For forty-five minutes, the sorry, soggy piece of baked flour sat in my mouth, getting wetter, more deformed, but STILL. SOLID.
It never melted, needless to say, and (thankfully) I don’t remember what happened of that biscuit. Maybe I finally ate it.
Maybe I didn’t. I’ll never know, because mum doesn’t remember this incident. Maybe she doesn’t want to remember?
Anyway, it’s shattering. They lied on TV, and this five year old fell for it too.
And that is why I like ice creams.
They begin, cold, fuming, solid, and really do melt in your mouth.
Because ice creams don’t lie.
Although, with this biscuit incident behind me, is it really a surprise that I’m not too particularly fond of food?